Those Moments

It's in moments like these when having a crush isn't so bad. When there are those instances you have where you both know you care about each other. Just those times when you can freely talk to each other without the worry of crossing lines or coming on too strong for a friendship.

It's the moments where you openly tell each other those three words that are usually so overused. It's not overused in the moment though, because they aren't false. You aren't rushing anything, you're quietly muttering them to each other because you need each other to know. It's rarely said, it's quiet, but heavily felt.

You've been there for each other for so long, breakthroughs have been made, milestones passed, and you're appreciating the day when they came into your life. That moment when you had that connection and you took that step on the path to them becoming one of the most important people to you. And you just sit there on your bed, smiling at the text message, because thank you God. Thank you for putting this person in my life.

The developing of feelings sometimes take a toll on you and you struggle with holding yourself back, but that's not what matters. What matters is that the two of you care about each other and the friendship you have is priceless. No fears are able to creep in, because it's solid.

Yeah, you like them. You sometimes imagine cuddling with them and holding their hand, but it's those moments that get you. Those precious moments, the ones you pick from your memories and hold so close that it sinks into your chest and takes a place in your heart.

It's those moments when you think to yourself, “I love this person.”

Maybe not romantically, not just yet. But those that unconditional love you hold for them, you can't put it into words. You try and try to explain it to them, but the only things you can say are “I'm so glad you're in my life.” and “You mean so much to me.”

It's not enough, but you can't say anymore than that. There's no way to truly express it, but it's okay because you both understand. You both know how the other feels, the struggle to get each other to understand is mutual.

Then he says that he loves you. It makes you smile, and you're just shaking your head with that smile, thinking, “I know that, dork.”

To some it might be a painful reminder of that unrequited crush, but you know those moments. Those moments where nothing matters and you just know that you care about each other in some crazy form neither of you can comprehend.

Yeah. I love those moments.

Those Moments of Awe and Joy

March 23, 2017

Does someone ever do something for you and it just blows you away? Like something for your birthday or a random little occasion in which a friend does something special. Someone gets you a present or gesture and you tear up and don't know what yo say. You're speechless and so touched, you just don't know what to do except smile and thank them over and over. Do you know what kind of moments I'm talking about?

Usually those kinds of moments for me are about small and oftentimes silly things. I always get super happy whenever my Sunday school teacher gives me the left over donuts or when my family gives me the last cookie (for some reason it always it always revolves around food. . .).
Then there are moments that are more serious and significant, not that donuts are any less significant. Those kinds of moments revolve more around words for me. I am not one to swoon over pretty words coming from anybody. It's hard for to open up and get close to people, but whenever I do show my whole self to someone and they reciprocate, well, it means a lot to me.

The first time I said "I love you" to my best friend, I was kinda nervous she would just smile and nod, humoring me and my stupidity. I don't take those three words lightly, because they are more than just feelings to me. They are more than just the thing to say when you know someone for long enough. So whenever I say it to anybody, I'm serious and most likely terrified the first time I do. Yes, she said the back and I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

It's those little things that get to me, it's the tiniest things that give me those moments of awe and joy. I more often than not get flustered and struggle to say something, because I take everything so seriously and deeply.

Well, I had one of those moments today. A person very dear to me wrote a me the loveliest, sweetest poem for my 200th day on Miraculous Amino (it's like a birthday every 100 days. I find it adorable because people will message you and comment on your profile congratulating you and wishing you a happy whatever hundred day it is for you).

I could go on and on about this, but how about I just show you the poem?


Autumn

The wind rustles a few stray leaves
Leaves with colours, warm, and a promise, cold
They flutter about in the gentle breeze
Spiraling free, so daring and bold

The one raking them up sighs
As they are scattered once more
Before getting right back to work
Gathering leaves off the floor

On, the breeze whistles
Among the long scarves and coats
Of people battling the chill
As they match the whistling wind's notes

It's that time of year
When animals store up supplies
Preparing for winter
Before it arrives

Although the days shorten
And bright sunny days are few
It is by no means a season
In which to start feeling blue

The streets are laced with vibrant colours
Yellows, oranges, and res
Of the tree's last, bright goodbyes
Before they settle into their beds

Fall is my person favourite
Of all four seasons
It's astonishingly beautiful
To name just one of the reasons

The sheer beauty that comes with it
And the promise of change and things new
Inspires great wonders within me
As I observe it's ever-changing hues

Like the free, spiraling leaves
You taught me I can go in any direction I choose
That's always okay to be different
And to have unique, even unusual views

Like the poor soul sweeping up leaves
You taught me how frustrating life can be at times
But with perseverance and a good-natured spirit
The rewards will be sublime!

Like the happy, mischievous breeze
Ruffling children's hair as it gently blows by
You've taught me how to find humor
Smile and laugh, and not always sigh

Like the critters storing away for the winter
You've shown me how important it is to plan
How procrastination, although seemingly friendly
Can cause the downfall of even the strongest man

Like the stunning beauty of fall
You've inspired me more than you'll ever know
Not only as a writer, but as a person
You've helped and guided me to grow

- Retrofox


For my 200th day, I have been set to smile all day. That's all I can really say in my still giddy state of happiness. These words are overwhelming. Thank you, Retro.