Almost Empty

November 24th, 2017
12:48 AM

Sometimes I just feel wrong. Like I'm emotionally, mentally sick. I can be fine for days or weeks, but then I'll just suddenly feel all weird and uncomfortable, like I'm supposed to be doing something, but I don't know what it is and I'm running out of time. It feels like my body is getting all wound up in knots and I'll just lay in bed thinking, "How do I fix this?"

Sometimes I'll watch YouTube videos or attempt to read something, but that only makes it worse. I'm always too uninterested and a bit tired. I'll try to eat, too, but it just makes my stomach hurt worse. I started wondering if maybe it was my (mild) gastritis making my stomach hurt, but the feeling, though on my abdomen, is nowhere near my stomach and I know it has something to do with my emotions.

It feels like I'm almost empty. Like something inside of me that I need is slowly draining and I'm helpless to stop it.

It's at times like these when I really miss my counselor. I freaking sucked at talking to the lady, but she was comforting. I really liked her voice and the way she'd talk to me. I wonder if she still prays for me.

I just want this to stop and go back to normal. I hate this feeling. It's been a while since I got it. Maybe some sleep will help.